A concerned reader has reached out with a sticky situation they’ve found themselves involved in.
The reader has two colleagues, Joe and Kate, who are about to get married. However, the reader knows for a fact that Kate is having an affair with Peter, their direct manager. The office is well aware of Peter and Kate’s escapades during “work trips,” except for Joe. The reader actually witnessed Kate attempting to sneak behind during a video meeting, undressed, when Peter joined remotely. The impending wedding has the reader torn about whether to reveal the truth to Joe or stay out of the messy situation.
Feeling morally conflicted, the reader is unsure of how to proceed. They enjoy their job and coworkers, and appreciate Peter’s support as a manager, despite his infidelity. The reader is also considering their career options but is hesitant about leaving their current position. Seeing Joe in the office adds to the reader’s guilt and anxiety, affecting their appetite and prompting them to seek therapy.
The dilemma of whether to disclose infidelity to a partner is a complex one, with arguments for and against involvement. Factors like concern for the partner’s well-being versus the risk of backlash can make the decision challenging. In this case, the situation is further complicated by the coworkers involved and the power dynamics at play.
Peter and Kate’s behavior is not only hurtful to Joe personally but also reflects poorly on their professionalism, potentially impacting the entire workplace. The legal implications of a superior-subordinate relationship add another layer of concern for the company.
Given the professional implications and the risk of fallout, staying out of the situation may be a defensible choice. While it’s unfortunate for Joe, the reader is not obligated to jeopardize their work environment. Involving HR, especially if there’s a reporting relationship between Peter and Kate, could provide a more structured approach to addressing the issue.
