It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past.
This week, there will be more posts than usual, so keep checking back throughout the day.
Thank you for your response — as well as to everyone who commented. The responses were incredibly helpful and helped me maintain my sanity during the remaining five weeks of my notice period. After I reached out to you, things continued to deteriorate with my (now former) boss. This is just a glimpse of how challenging things became during my last few weeks, but it should give you a good understanding of the situation. 🙂
During my notice period, I took a week of pre-planned vacation. When I returned, I found out that my boss had unilaterally decided that I would lead research for a project in a very unstable country that had recently undergone a coup d’état — all scheduled the week before I was supposed to move back to the U.S. for my new job. It wasn’t surprising that my former company did not have any safety or evacuation protocols in place. I expressed my discomfort with this arrangement and refused to travel during my notice period.
In response, my boss gave me the silent treatment and reported me to HR. During the conversation with HR, I was pressured to travel to the unstable country and was even baited to speak negatively about my boss. I emphasized that the notice period is meant for wrapping up responsibilities and transitioning, not for taking on new risky assignments. After a lengthy circular conversation, I stated that my last day would be the next day if we couldn’t come to a resolution. This prompted the HR to immediately back off, indicating their urgent need for me to complete the outstanding work as detailed in my handover note.
Following this meeting, my boss denied approving my handover note — despite agreeing to it on the day of my resignation — and claimed it needed to be a living document. In response, I provided a detailed list of all the tasks I completed during my notice period, along with links to relevant documents, to prove my productivity.
Subsequently, my boss publicly attempted to bully me by accusing me of delaying the project timeline to avoid travel. When this tactic failed, she resorted to giving me the silent treatment for a week and only communicating through her assistant, which I found preferable. Her demeanor changed when another team member angered her, and she started being “nice” to me. At that point, I mentally checked out of work, knowing that my efforts would be undermined regardless.
They even tried to shortchange my final paycheck by about $1,000. Fortunately, I had maintained meticulous records of my remaining PTO days and confirmation from HR regarding my official last day. Ultimately, I did receive my full two months’ salary (my former company paid every other month — another alarming red flag).
I’ve been at my new job for about four months, and it has been a refreshing change. The work-life balance is better, and I genuinely look forward to my work. While the humanitarian/development field is fast-paced and challenging, my new boss is supportive, and the team is wonderful. I feel like I’m making a meaningful impact, as opposed to managing someone’s chaos on a daily basis. Some former colleagues have informed me that things have continued to decline at my old company, with several others leaving after my departure. Looking back, I can’t believe I endured that situation for as long as I did. My old boss has tried reaching out to me a couple of times, but I have chosen not to respond.
Once again, thank you for all your invaluable comments and advice. I relied on much of it during my last month at my previous job, and it was instrumental in preserving both my sanity and energy.
