John: [00:03:44] After completing dental school, I informed my partner immediately about my $450,000 debt from both undergrad and dental school. It was the first time I shared this information with her.
Ramit Sethi: [00:04:05] How did she react when you revealed that amount?
John: [00:04:07] Her reaction was one of surprise since she had received some financial help from her family, unlike me.
Ramit Sethi: [00:04:22] Wendy recently discovered the true extent of their debt when John was filling out a financial questionnaire. Her reaction was one of shock.
Wendy: [00:04:36] I was taken aback when John revealed the increasing debt amount, feeling fearful and uncertain about the situation.
Ramit Sethi: [00:04:53] How did you feel when you saw the debt amount rise?
Wendy: [00:05:02] I felt trepidation and fear, questioning why the debt wasn’t decreasing over time.
Ramit Sethi: [00:05:12] Did you discuss it with John when you learned about the higher debt?
Wendy: [00:05:17] We briefly talked about it, but John seemed to dismiss my concerns, assuring me that he would handle it.
Ramit Sethi: [00:05:30] It can be frustrating when one partner takes on the financial burden alone. How did you feel about that?
Wendy: [00:05:47] It was definitely annoying as I wanted to support him, but he preferred to handle it on his own.
Ramit Sethi: [00:05:50] What do you mean by that?
Wendy: [00:05:51] I felt like he was trying to be the strong, independent provider while I wanted to contribute as a partner in this shared responsibility.
Ramit Sethi: [00:06:01] Many men feel a duty to support their families financially. Do you consider yourself one of them?
John: [00:06:17] I don’t see myself as a macho man. I took on this debt knowing it was my responsibility and didn’t want to burden my partner with it, especially when she was close to paying off her own loans.
